tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post1004426980581836493..comments2023-11-30T13:56:09.850+05:30Comments on Aayanisms: Hirelingaayanmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14881273343571611950noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-72213173867336613422010-08-05T23:47:38.954+05:302010-08-05T23:47:38.954+05:30@meghpeon - thank you for appreciating the story. ...@meghpeon - thank you for appreciating the story. yes these character-sketches are from everyday life. And their complexities,pain and struggle is also very real.Each has his own truth.aayanmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14881273343571611950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-57839403803064180772010-08-05T20:43:08.505+05:302010-08-05T20:43:08.505+05:30Loved it gyan! You blended the complexities of the...Loved it gyan! You blended the complexities of the times and the relationships so well. Be it husband wife or the sarkari babu and the contract labourer.Meghpeonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14591868645125124983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-64146834942134337452010-07-30T14:21:08.597+05:302010-07-30T14:21:08.597+05:30@Lonely Planet - thank you for your kind words. Co...@Lonely Planet - thank you for your kind words. Couldnt agree more.<br /><br />@sidra - thank you for your encouragement. I think so too - Lakshmi's story could well go into another few pages, but so could the other characters.You see everyone has a truth which justifies his or her action - whether we accept it or not is immaterial.aayanmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14881273343571611950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-83832353264059434632010-07-30T10:42:38.615+05:302010-07-30T10:42:38.615+05:30ok just a few minutes ago I commented on my short ...ok just a few minutes ago I commented on my short story post saying that its difficult to keep the reader's attention for a long period of time. I can clearly say that I didn't have a moment of distraction while reading the story.<br /><br />The story itself is a stark reality which a lot of us chose to ignore. The story is moving because the protagonist is working towards creating a better life. He's a doer and circumstance forces misfortune on him as if he's completely powerless. This is just one aspect; the misfortunes suffered by Lakhsmi were not the focal point of the story but has enough potential to translate into an individual post.Sidra Sayeedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07099868671152565795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-58368564003652800742010-06-30T11:51:59.114+05:302010-06-30T11:51:59.114+05:30Very well written, a masterpiece! Problem is we fe...Very well written, a masterpiece! Problem is we feel sad but can do nothing except 'post a comment'! wish we could do more than that becoz this is not a fiction....Lonely planethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18373900356372359360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-60771669165673689232010-06-21T11:19:26.780+05:302010-06-21T11:19:26.780+05:30@Sindhu - Welcome to Scrambled Egg!! Thank you for...@Sindhu - Welcome to Scrambled Egg!! Thank you for appreciating.<br /><br />@Bikramjit - thank you for your appreciation.<br /><br />@writerzblock you are right this is more than a fiction. Thank you for your kind words.<br /><br />@magiceye - appreciate it.aayanmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14881273343571611950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-41392786142923163142010-06-21T10:37:31.795+05:302010-06-21T10:37:31.795+05:30brilliant write!!!brilliant write!!!magiceyehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17848851692951192508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-10941188174998083812010-06-19T14:02:11.775+05:302010-06-19T14:02:11.775+05:30What an excellent post, GB. Sadly this is REAL LIF...What an excellent post, GB. Sadly this is REAL LIFE. How many people like Dev and Lakshmi just fade away into nothingness every day. Nobody remembers, nobody cares. How sad is that :-(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-41447865327363573352010-06-17T19:44:06.985+05:302010-06-17T19:44:06.985+05:30very good work, though there was no need to put in...very good work, though there was no need to put in the end that it was work of fiction.. when this is sad truth of our culture our way of line.. <br /><br />Excellent work mate and all the best this time too...Bikramhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17320753339263375295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-1065114311150695262010-06-17T17:08:23.175+05:302010-06-17T17:08:23.175+05:30An engrossing narrrative and gripping tale..or tru...An engrossing narrrative and gripping tale..or truth!<br />Great going...congratssindhuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08633887026392592319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-13279959125397492742010-06-17T11:19:29.275+05:302010-06-17T11:19:29.275+05:30@Karthik - thank you for your comment and observat...@Karthik - thank you for your comment and observation.<br /><br />The line in question as I see it is this - <br /><br />‘Here, have some water’. ‘Now tell me who are you, where are you from and what brings you here or are you lost?’Anna inquired.<br /><br />I dont find anything wrong with this sentence here.You might have missed reading the whole sentence.The 'who' was not missed out.<br /><br />Yes and no for your second point. Yes because don't you tag probably sounds better. <br />No because there's nothing grammatically wrong with that.It s probably how Nandana Devi spoke. :-P<br /><br />But good to see a keen observer.Really appreciate it.aayanmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14881273343571611950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-67157171472316028812010-06-17T09:35:37.832+05:302010-06-17T09:35:37.832+05:30Very subtly narrated, sir. It's such a sorry s...Very subtly narrated, sir. It's such a sorry state of affairs really. Hard to find a solution for this. I liked the ending. It's open ended. It's like saying, "This is what happens all the time. And it continues.."<br /> <br />However I found two sentences you might want to take a look: "Now tell me you are you and where are you from....."<br />Isn't it, "Now tell me who you are and where you are from"?<br />Then, "You know that boy looked quite young isn’t it?"<br />"Don't you" is the right question tag, isn't it? <br /><br />All the best!Karthikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02711684817675364335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-61839472871751145642010-06-17T00:54:00.022+05:302010-06-17T00:54:00.022+05:30Editorji? Ahem!! :DEditorji? Ahem!! :DNehahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12210124858747262151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-5499562195247640962010-06-16T17:38:43.638+05:302010-06-16T17:38:43.638+05:30@pushpee - thank you Yes there are some really won...@pushpee - thank you Yes there are some really wonderful posts. Must read all.<br /><br />@KG - welcome to Scrambled Egg!! Am glad you liked the story.<br /><br />@Neha - Editorji - much appreciated.Thank you.<br /><br />@Roshmi - thank you am glad you liked it.aayanmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14881273343571611950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-53416584590433945272010-06-16T14:44:32.616+05:302010-06-16T14:44:32.616+05:30Awesome... gripping and poignant! It is a slice of...Awesome... gripping and poignant! It is a slice of life...Roshmi Sinhahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17514206548071810133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-26151253498807670722010-06-16T13:58:31.069+05:302010-06-16T13:58:31.069+05:30well written GB..the flow was good and th treatmen...well written GB..the flow was good and th treatment to the subject was nice too..good luck for the contest :)Nehahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12210124858747262151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-76325391145657239392010-06-15T23:25:34.045+05:302010-06-15T23:25:34.045+05:30A stirring narration, loved it.A stirring narration, loved it.KGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11570313831772346101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-5755987656769429392010-06-15T21:06:48.870+05:302010-06-15T21:06:48.870+05:30very moving story GB, was in Pune after posting an...very moving story GB, was in Pune after posting and now reading one by one after coming back...gr8 work .. :))Pushpzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03844654008613100248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-46730594626115569992010-06-15T20:50:25.666+05:302010-06-15T20:50:25.666+05:30@the scrambled blogger - merci beaucoup. Yes that ...@the scrambled blogger - merci beaucoup. Yes that was very tragic - that place is a ticking dynamite - infact take any example from strand road to burrabazar to sealdah or even howrah station. Wonder when will life start to become precious ?<br /><br />@purba - think it is beyond uncomfortable now. wonder where is God at this point in time?<br /><br />@wordsndreams - welcome to scrambled egg!! thank you appreciate it.<br /><br />@LazyP - yes it is very sad. Thanks for appreciating.<br /><br />@evenascenthoughts - well you are bing most generous here.Maybe I should say avada kedavra and get you inscribed. I appreciate your kind words. I think the plight of lakshmi is just the tip of the iceberg.But Narottam Gill fascinated me the most.<br /><br />@vibhuti - am glad you noticed. thank you. <br /><br />@Ritu - you are right and this post was screaming to be a non fiction,if only we had that option in this round.! i mean there was tons of research material available to substantiate this. thank for appreciating the work.<br /><br />@PsychBabbler - it was tough to write this one. The pain they experience was quite unfathomable - so to justify such a pain i was at times ,at a loss for words. Thanks am glad you appreciate the effort.<br /><br />@dmanji - tribes mate - your support mean the most to me.Thanks a lot.<br /><br />@Shilpa garg - thank you am glad you liked it.<br /><br />@kavita - thanks.<br /><br />@Bedlam - thank you.<br /><br />@Sudeshna - thought provoking indeed. thank you for appreciating the story.<br /><br />@Sreeram - thanks mate really appreciate your wishes.<br /><br />@Pinsnashes - thank you for your wishes. this was a very difficult story to write simply because the more I got involved with the characters the more I felt ill at ease - questioning myself - what are we doing about it?<br /><br />@Arif -thank yo tribes mate. Appreciate it.<br /><br />@Arif - mateaayanmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14881273343571611950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-38425513702261301812010-06-15T16:31:50.449+05:302010-06-15T16:31:50.449+05:30Well done GB....very well done indeed. This remind...Well done GB....very well done indeed. This reminds me of the people who used to live in the plastic covered temporary shelters near Ultadanga bridge... last year I heard, that the whole place caught fire and the people their lost everything. This story is another glare at the harsh reality that still dominates so much of our country's economic topography. I had to read the post twice just to relive the experience.Bravo !! Good touch on the title.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-91266166305005374472010-06-15T08:03:02.807+05:302010-06-15T08:03:02.807+05:30The uncomfortable truth that we choose to ignore. ...The uncomfortable truth that we choose to ignore. <br /><br />Beautiful and thought provoking (would hate to call it a story)Purbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06345755953291104000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-86544867152094043862010-06-15T01:06:55.632+05:302010-06-15T01:06:55.632+05:30That was so shocking, and yet so real.. Something ...That was so shocking, and yet so real.. Something that happens all around us.. <br /><br />Very moving account, Beautifully writtenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-8069587685609651262010-06-15T00:37:19.249+05:302010-06-15T00:37:19.249+05:30really shocking :(
the true face of Indian societ...really shocking :( <br />the true face of Indian society...<br />very well written...Vinita Aptehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06549627033763568859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-81889290845623988672010-06-14T20:59:26.530+05:302010-06-14T20:59:26.530+05:30I loved the "Inscribed" footer too :) Th...I loved the "Inscribed" footer too :) That was really creative!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714657.post-9195279344703440112010-06-14T20:58:25.954+05:302010-06-14T20:58:25.954+05:30Loved the post GB :) As usual you are too good at ...Loved the post GB :) As usual you are too good at narration. It is actually unfair you know. Two of the best fiction writers have been put in the same team. :) The story though true is really sad :( Poor Lakshmi :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com