Writing is simple,but not easy.

Disclaimer 81.

  1. GyanBan  does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either, my company, my friends, or my cat.[no offence to dogs]
  2. Read at your own risk or Riks,as the case may be, or any subsidiary usage,in any language.
  3. For external use only. Read only with proper ventilation.
  4. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading.
  5. Reader assumes full responsibility.- it s high time dont you think ?
  6. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted.
  7. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health.                                                                                         [See photo of bad teeth and gaping wounds behind this.]
  8. Grand Parental advisory - explicit lyrics.[e.g. yea baby mojo times ]
  9. Article is provided "ass is" without any warranties.
  10. An equal opportunity article. Aliens welcome.
  11. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything.
  12. All rights reserved. [reservation bill subject to change in% variance from time to time]
  13. This product is meant for educational purposes only.
  14. Caution : Education kills by degrees.
  15. Any resemblance to real/reel  persons, living or dead or alien, is purely transcendental.
  16. Colors may, in time, fade.Money-back grantee if color goes off.
  17. Void where prohibited. We will look blankly at you.
  18. Batteries not included. Use your own kidneys.
  19. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
  20. Dandruff is tasteless. Use only as directed.
  21. No other warranty expressed or implied or desired.
  22. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. It causes the bang effect.
  23. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers.
  24. For recreational use only.not re- creation.
  25. Reproduction strictly prohibited.
  26. Employees and their families are not eligible.
  27. Limit one-per-family please.
  28. Do not disturb.
  29. All models over 18 years of age.
  30. If condition persists, consult your physician.
  31. No user-serviceable parts inside.
  32. Freshest if eaten before date on carton or post.
  33. Subject to change without notice. ..subject might change.
  34. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. [please dont get corny]
  35. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
  36. For off-road use only.
  37. As seen on TV. One size fits all. [ womens lib pls ignore]
  38. Many suitcases look alike. [ just like blondes]
  39. We have sent the forms which seem right for you, your brain size.
  40. Slippery when wet. Slithery when wild.
  41. For office use only.[ bosses have special privilege]
  42. Edited for television.No idiot can be boxed.
  43. List was current at time of printing.
  44. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Shame Spam.
  45. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
  46. Not the Beatles.
  47. Avoid contact with skin.
  48. desensitized for your protection.
  49. Be sure each itch is properly endorsed.
  50. Beware of dog. no animals were harmed or armed.No alcohol, dogs or horses.
  51. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
  52. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
  53. You must be present to win.
  54. Booths for two or more.
  55. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom.
  56. Price does not include taxes.
  57. Not recommended for children.
  58. Prerecorded for this time zone.
  59. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
  60. First pull up, then pull down.
  61. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat.
  62. Call toll free before digging.
  63. Driver does not carry cash.
  64. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
  65. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
  66. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary.
  67. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail.
  68. No substitutions allowed.
  69. Terms and positions are subject to change without notice.
  70. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. quantities are limited while supplies last.
  71. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.
  72. Keep away from sunlight.
  73. Or moonlight.Fungus not guaranteed.
  74. Keep away from pests and small children.
  75. Safety goggles may be required during use.
  76. Not liable for damages arising from use or miss use.
  77. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. united colors of glutton.
  78. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician.
  79. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid prolonged exposure.
  80. Do not write below this line.
  81. Sign here without admitting guilt.

2 comments:

  1. How could anyone not comment on this? :) Clever stuff. Keeping it sharp and real.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi. I really enjoyed my brief visit on your site and I’ll be sure to be back for more.
    Can I contact you through email address?

    Please email me back.

    Thanks!
    Kevin
    kevincollins1011 gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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