Ding Dung Bell

In a recent survey report, the finding suggests 1 in 10 passports are rejected while scanning at various entry points in Indian airports.

Returning NRI S Khan,a 45 year old adult male, was first greeted by the airport customs officer doubting his Passport credentials.

He tried to explain it was a reissue and not a fake new one,however the officer was not satisfied with his explanation.The state of insecurity,or over security in the system has reached epidemic proportions.

The scanner detected a gift wrapped box.Next his backpack  was torn open to search for some suspected device. The officer asked him to scan his finger one more time.This was harassment. On asking the reason was this extra security check the officer,pressed a button and spoke through the loudspeaker  with utter contempt.

The officer opined ‘Your gift has a strange smell’ An altercation ensued. Mr.Khan refused to open the gift wrap suggesting it was for someone special.

The Officer was furious and asked for an explanation.

Mr.Khan objected to this and said ‘its just a sweet and salt sandwhich’.

Not satisfied with the answer,he was further questioned on the metal cylinder he carried in the backpack.

‘It was just a telescope’Mr.Khan remarked getting increasingly frustrated.

The officer probed further and checked the sipper bottle suspiciously ‘Drink it’ he said.

Mr.Khan,a well known face on the popular National Historic channel felt humiliated at this treatment by a fellow countryman. The unsatisfied officer got out of his seat and checked Mr.Khan gift-wrapped package. He took out a Swiss knife and cut it open,only to find a pile of dung packed inside.

The officer fainted. Last known information of the officer was reported normal,from Nanavati hospital trauma center. After all sometimes in life, you  get to be the pigeon,and sometimes the statue. Ding Dung Bell !

Gyanban Thoughts : a satirical post, the words in bold letters were given in advance , and we were asked to construct a story using these words.The second instruction was to write it as a newspaper clipping.

Something Fishy

‘Check if the Catla is slimy Robin.’

‘Yuck –why do that?’

‘It tells whether the fish is fresh or not.’

‘Once you fry it – how does that matter?’

‘Stop arguing.’

‘Its logic.’

‘Its distasteful.’

‘Well its not cooked yet.’

‘Oh Gaawwd stop it.’

The Octopus and the Squid did not like the noise.They sprang on their face.

Robin and his father choked till they fell down.

The Catla smiled in relief.

Gyanban Thoughts - A fishy thriller,quirky and funny,or so I thought. Plight of fish.

Wrong Right

The rule you break,the money you make,

The tatto you hide, love the other side,

The drink you mix, the date you fix,

The visit to the Phantoms paradise.

The chocolate you tempt,the forced restraint,

The burger you loathe,then relent,

The blueberry scuffle, the Tiramisu battle,

The war of scoops,the strawberry rattle.

The manufactured news you read, the poor you feed,

The fast you take, the democracy you break,

The politics at work,the peace with a jerk,

The allowance you snatch, behind the latch.

The speeding bike, rush from the bar,

The ignorant loner,hits the car,

The paying pop and the comforting cop,

The raving party must not stop.

The imemdiate need,for the designer breed,

The wonder rich kid and inherited greed

The cheap local, almost anit-social,

The poor boy ,a mistake collossal.

The ego flaunt,the brilliance gene,

The designer life,and evergreen,

The proud momma and bitchy in-law,

The nasty treatment,a derserving flog.

The ditcher in the eye, eternal love,

The flaming passion,a hidden trove.

The extra attention,mesmerising charm,

The scathing remark and dark sarcasm.

The way you dress, the food you eat,

The money you spend, the holidays you take,

The colleagues you met,the freinds you beget,

The marriage regret and the honeymoon fret.

The beautiful sight of a landing flight,

The detour fright, the allegiance delight.

The ultimate sacrifice, eternal paradise,

The burning cause and reprise.

The warming night,heated day,

The burried earth, and trapped decay,

The melting ice and changing scape,

The floating wave,watery grave,

The escaping life and the drowsy brave.

All that you know is so slight,

Who knows , wrong could be the new right !

Gyanban Thoughts - A few lines dedicated to the ironies of life.I often wonder, why is everything that we want mostly wrong? Life exists in opposites, or goodness exists in opposites - probably a betrayal on either side. !

Life has a way of balancing itself,whether we like it or not, agree or not, we just keep pushing our momentary truth and extract momentary pleasure, instant gratification.The popular optimist will say, someday all this will change,and life will become ideal.

The scathing pessimist will say this is as close to happening as finding life on another planet. Somewhere all of our definitions are mixed up with the environment around us.

Also written for Onesingleimpression prompt Betrayal.

image courtesy:desktopnexus.com

Eve's Teasing

It was the year's biggest blockbuster releasing and the hype attached to it made sure the crowds came in huge numbers.The queue was long,and the crowd impatient,a couple of girls were sandwiched in a largely male crowd. Needless to say they were feeling uncomfortable with all the pushing going on. It did not help when some of the authorities started flexing their muscles to get the situation under control. More pushing ensued.

Joseph was also standing in the same queue and getting equally frustrated with the proceedings, so much so that he even thought of leaving the queue, but decided against it. There were just about 10 odd people in front of them, including the two ladies couple of feet ahead.When the jostling got worse, he went up to the ladies in front of him, and said " excuse me, If you want I can buy the tickets for you, and you can stand outside this queue". Before he could feel that he did a good job for the day, one of the ladies yelled at him to go away and gave him a dirty stare,as if he was some sort of a pervert.Joseph was totally stunned.

After the ordeal was over Joseph was driving down back to a local mall,while he was turning his car to enter the mall,he saw an elderly lady and a young girl were crossing the road without looking.He gently braked and got his car to halt - the passing ladies looked at the car and stopped as well, being the gentleman Joseph,he gestured with his hand to indicate it was ok for them to cross the road, and silently said "please carry on". The old got absolutely furious at this.She misinterpreted the gesture to be something rude and yelled back at him.Even the little girl frowned at him and crossed the road with a huff.Joseph could hear them cursing him faintly as they crossed by.Joseph was speechless.Whatever happened to chivalry?

Dejected Joseph went home and slept in the afternoon out of sheer disgust.He shrugged it off convincing himself that it was just ignorance on their part.A promising evening lay ahead of hi. In the evening he had to meet his date and wanted to make sure he didn't carry any of his morning's disappointment .So he took a shower,changed into fresh clothes,put on some YSL M7 and drove out to meet his friend..who was not yet in the girlfriend status, but today could just be the day.

As he parked his vehicle outside the hostel compound,he felt a bit nervous.After all they had recently met and this was the first time he was entering a girls hostel.But Rupali had promised him, that she would be at the gate waiting for him.

She wasn't.

Gathering his courage ,Joseph stepped inside the big gate on to a narrow path leading to the main building entrance.There were girls.Lots of them.Looking at him, measuring him from head to toe,he could feel the ogles and faint snickers as he walked slowly past each block.He didnt know whether to look up or down, look relaxed or tensed, he was getting really nervous now.He decided to walk a little faster.

As he approached the steps leading up to the waiting hall, he saw a bunch of hostel mates sitting on either side, each commenting on the other or cracking jokes.Somewhere he heard a girl talk about the virgin walk,somewhere he heard cackles of Romeo jokes,and somewhere plain noises.
Well not plain noises, they were pretty suggestive noises.This made him feel really uncomfortable.Joseph was not the effeminate sorts by any stretch of imagination, but he was't the bravest one in alien situations either.He muttered under his breath - "be a man" he said quietly and walked up.

One of the ladies on his left was clearing her throat.Obviously trying to get his attention.So he looked up to the condescending lady and gave her a stern look with a polite smile,radiating poise and confidence.Before he could take a step further,from a distant blur he saw a lady walk up to him and stand bang in front.

"May I help you with anything ?" said the condescending woman with a subtle sense of seduction.As he looked up,he saw an Angelina Jolie reincarnate - he was stunned.His mouth went dry.He didn't know whether to smile or ignore.Time stood still.He somehow managed to say some words vaguely,with some blurry eyes, and his heart beating fast...By the time his blurry eyes came back to focus,he saw the angelic face had turned devilish, absolutely red with anger. By the time his senses came back ,there was a loud noise and a heat sensation on his left cheek.He remembered what he said - "err uhh umm mm I ..I want to come inside.." and before he could correct himself, his face got plastered with a tight slap.The echo was loud and everybody stopped what they were doing and looked at them and just then Rupali walked in...




image courtesy :glamourindia/Twinkle

Godspeed

Everything you touch turns to gold,
my heart bleeds and no one to hold,
Everything you do is a miracle,
my work is such a struggle,
Everywhere you go you are revered,
my life has no one bothered,
Everything you say is measured,
my voices are unheard.
Ever thought of lending an ear,
my life won't be in such a despair,
Ever thought of granting a wish,
my needs are genuine not a fetish
Ever thought of coming down to Earth?
you could be surprised of your worth.
Ever thought of being stuck in a traffic?
my computer could show you the gory graphic.
Ever thought of paying rent?
my pocket can't even afford a tent.
Ever worried of getting fat?
my tummy swells just like that.
Such is my life o dear God
show me the way or take me aboard.

What if ? or ....so What ?

What if –


What if man was happy?
Can he take happiness?
What if man was successful?
Would success go to his head?


What if all women ruled?
Could they rule out their hearts ?
What if you let the child grow?
Would the child outgrow innocence?


What if there was no big war?
Would the ego wars within end?
What if the world was a happy place to live in?
Would it remove our internal sorrows?

What if we had no pollution?
Are our hearts anti –pollutant?
What if life came to an end?
Is this life worth living?

What if we all try to change a bit?
Will bit by bit change the world?



So What –


So what If I can’t rise?
At least I can ask for one!

So what if I am a single Casanova?
At least I am not a married vagabond!

So what if I am married?
At least I have kept only two!

So what if I am divorced?
At least I was not the only one infidel!

So what if I lie?
At least I am not twisting the truth!

So what if something happens to me?
At least I am better off dead..than living!


So what if life stinks!
At least I have a Deo!

So what if I will suffer one day?
At least I am living it for today.!