Catharsis

Hunger and shelter kill people.

Finding a place in the prime Borough is like finding a diamond in a coal mine. Mum used to say, learn to adjust, and you will find what you want. After all, these little adjustments, are a part of the fucking parcel of life. Huh. 

It would be exactly nine months on the first of April since I moved into the plush Toccata penthouse. It had soft caramel undertones on the walls and the Renoir’s, one on each side, caught my gaze on the first day. Instinctively, I knew, it was the house I wanted. As the landlady walked ahead of me, notes of coffee, pink pepper, cedar, and cinnamon oozed from her swaying hips, sucking me into a deep hallucinogenic state. Fuck me. 

I couldn’t bungle this one up, unlike the previous eight houses. Terrible, they were. “No late-night partying or substances, pills, injections, powders, got it?” She said breaking my gaze. Yes, she had the vocabulary. I am the shy type, so I lowered my head and nodded gently but my head was still spinning with her magnetic fragrance, the kind which you know, is sure to get you into trouble. And it did. I fell in love, hook, line, and sinker or fish, plate, and chips. Whatever.


The first four months were rather wonderful as I settled into a routine and we got to know each other a little better. I would leave for work early morning and she would see me off with a lingering smile and as I returned, her fragrance reached the door before she did. We spent hours chatting on the terrace till one of us spotted Felix returning from work. 

Yes, she was with Felix after all, not promiscuous but lonely nevertheless. “Meet my husband Felix,” she said glancing over her shoulder. He raised his eyebrows and gave her a questioning look. I think he didn’t like me. It was evident by his eye contact or the lack of it. So, it wasn’t clandestine in the real sense of the word, neither was it platonic, I don’t think anyone knows how to define love. But I was happy like I hadn’t been in my previous lives, and I wondered if she’d be my Queen? 

Soon Felix began to notice our chemistry and one day he refused to eat with me on the table. I took the food to my room and she followed me inside. “I’m sorry, I think my husband is a bit disturbed, please don’t mind. He has to deal with too many things of late, the business, the extended family and the cat.” Business and family, I could understand, they are complicated, but a cat? How can a cat be a source of unhappiness? I mean what could a poor little cat do? Can a cat be complicated? Hell no. The more I thought about it, the more it became clear, she was lying. While my mind couldn’t trust her anymore, my heart had other ideas.


That day, I scurried early from work to surprise her with a gift, but the familiar soft coffee smell was missing at the door. It was a shade of smoky dark tobacco and a bit rancid burnt chocolate. “She’s out,” he said noticing my surprised eyebrows. I nodded and careened into my room before another word was exchanged. They were in it together. Isn’t it? Fuck. I should’ve listened to mum and stayed away from the heart. But I was hungry, so I waited for her to return. 

She knew my food quirks just like mum. Right from my childhood, I was always allergic to Chocolate and Alcohol, a long-standing nemesis and so I kept away from the people who had them. Soon there was a knock, I waited, then it turned into a thud. Quaking, I peeped out and found Felix with a plate in hand. “Eat this, she’s kept it for you,” he said thrusting the plate. I put out a polite smile and thought he’d go, but he didn’t. “Go on eat it, I’m waiting,” he said squinting into my eyes. My heart never lied to me and it wasn’t going to be the first time today, it was screaming, get out! I drank some water to calm it down but as I opened the food cover, my heart almost leaped out of my mouth. It had Chocolate Rum balls.

He was going to kill me. Fuck him. Felix respired at the door but I felt it much closer. His gaze locked on me, I was cornered and when you corner a tiger, what does it do? It fucking fights back. Right. I flung the plate on his face. The edge hit his left eye as his knees buckled in pain. I took the fork and packed it in his neck. He growled in rage, so loud, my eardrum blacked out and eyes silenced, or is it the other way around? Fuck. I flew on his back and slammed his head on the doorknob. He passed out. I waited a few seconds before checking his breath. 

He was still breathing as I got up on the chest of drawers. My mum used to say when in doubt, stub it out. Huh. The chest of drawers smashed his head. Oh, God. A big mess. I began cleaning the spill each tile at a time. The pink gooey stuff mixed with red and gave it a dark boysenberry sweet-tart like flavor. Uh-hmm. But tarts are not my favorite, so I moved on to the others. It took more than two hours to tuck him into bed. 

No pun. I heard the key click inside the lock, she always got it right in the first shot, so I scampered out of the room to greet her. My excitement was short-lived as I saw her striding in with the cat. “Meet Isabell Catz, our newest family member,” she said stroking her thick Mocha mane. Slightly on the heavier side, but she’d kept herself well, the curves had not yet become folds if you know what I mean. I forced a welcome smile and returned to my room. “Felix. Where is Felix?” I heard her walking into the bedroom behind me. The floor was still sticky and a bit tart-smelly. I closed the door on her face. It broke my heart but I had to do it. I heard a loud grunt and her voice receded as she searched for the missing Felix. Huh. What about me? What if I got lost someday? Would she search for me as much? Will she cry? Huh.

I reached for the lavender room freshener and sprayed it on the bed, the floor and near the door. There was a sniffing sneeze which escaped through the bottom of the door. That stupid cat was spying on me. Moments like these bring out the cunning best in me, or is it the worst? Whatever. I cleaned up, put on a fresh coat and applied some minimal touch to my hair, I like it to be left carefully careless before I step out in public. Isabell had a ‘I-don't-like-what-I-see’ look in her eyes but I smiled, this time quite warmly. The sun pierced through the window on to the dining table. “There you are, why were you sulking? I’m going to make some phone calls – Felix is missing. Oh, and do me a favor, feed her, will you please?” I nodded with a hint of a smile. 

I went inside and brought her a bowl of boysenberry milk mixed with some light chocolate. She sniffed it suspiciously but it looked so yummy. The greedy stupid cat drank it all. I didn’t have to wait long for the reaction. Isabell rolled over, scratched her back against the carpet, dug her claws into the flesh and bled on the floor. The porcelain Pygmalion was in splinters, the slender bar cabinet rattled with cracking wine glasses and the stain glass floor lamp hit the Renoir, fleecing it off its pricelessness.

I think it was an allergic reaction. Huh. I heard her scream from the upper deck, “Oh my God, no,” before she stumbled down the stairs. Those strawberry lips thud into the protruding pillar at the end of the stairway and blood smattered all over her face, she slumped on the floor, lifeless. I had my heart in the mouth or is it mouth in the heart? Whatever. I noticed her lying in a pool of blood flickering her legs in pain, quite dark I thought. She opened her bleary eyes when the cat, all seven pounds of squirming flesh, climbed onto her belly. Squinting into the sunlight streaming in from the open window, she discovered that she was now the weary possessor of a pounding headache, and at some point, had managed to lose both a tooth and a spouse. It's in moments like these you see light from darkness and I think it happened for Isabell. 


It was the first time she asked for permission. I nodded. Isabell took the other Renoir and slammed it into her face. Sharp girl. Huh. I opened the refrigerator to get some juice and realized, we hadn’t done groceries in a while. So, in the next few hours, we made sure the refrigerator was well stocked. Isabell understood my shy nature and I must add we are great friends now, more like a tag team partnership. Maybe someday, we’ll have a company of our own. Morning never shows the day. Huh. 

It’s almost a year since the bloody Friday weekend afternoon got screwed, the stately couple was killed and to the police, I’ve promised to cooperate fully, as long as it takes. As I celebrate my birthday this thirteenth day of April, I am a happy cat. Toccata will officially be mine, well it’s technically sealed, but who cares. Fuck. Though I will need to do some remodeling, perhaps change the bed, the stains are stubborn, the refrigerator, it keeps dripping and some paint job.

But its ok. You make do with what you have left, don’t you? It’s a dream come true. Mum always said hunger and shelter kill people, not cats. So, who kills the cats? I guess it’s impossible, because every life, has nine cats. Huh.




Gyanban Thoughts: wrote this for a quirky writing competition. Did not get shortlisted. But I enjoyed writing this dark tale , metaphor at some level literal for some. And the title seemed quite apt as well, dont you think?

Ten Bucks

‘What’s your name again?' he said raising his right eyebrow. 

‘This is the first time you asked’ she said with lowering her eyes.

‘Rohini Dev Burman’she said after a brief pause. 

‘R D Burman eh?’he said puffing smoke rings.

‘Yes Rohini Dev Burman’.

‘Do you have the talent like him, can you sing like him?’ he said narrowing his eyes. 

‘I am a woman’

‘So you re like Asha?’ 

No sir, I am Rohini’ she said looking up. 

Attitude huh?’

'Confidence sir’ she said lowering her head again. 

‘You can wait outside’ he said gesturing towards the door.
 

‘Its been 6 months,she comes in every single day to meet me -she'd do anything to get a chance to sing - I bet ten bucks she will be better than Asha’ he said while stubbing his fifth cigarette.

‘Rajinder, don’t be silly, you’re just infatuated with her looks, not her voice’ said producer Ramnathan. 

‘Anna,ten bucks,the most precious ten bucks in the history of this music industry – why don’t you take the bet?’ Rajinder said. 

‘Raji, relax,how can you forget your history of losing bets?’ 

‘Ten bucks, and I will make this ordinary nobody, in to the next superstar of playback singing’ he said.
 

‘I am not taking any bets, its an open and shut case, she will sing a few songs here and there, and then she’ll be forgotten just like hundreds before. We will probably see her at some award functions or some jokers marriage ceremony standing in a corner desperately trying to get some attention with her failing body and ageless voice’ Ramanathan opined and stood up to leave.
 

‘Wait – ten bucks, the last time I dare you – don’t chicken out -my heart will weep’ Rajinder said. 

Rajinder knew exactly how to entice  Producer Ramanathan into a deal,this was not the first time.But this time he needed this to work more than ever.

‘Is she doing you ? Are you sleeping with her ? Is she pregnant or something?’ Ramanathan said. 

There was silence and the two exchanged glances for the first time. 

‘OK done – but we'll do it my way -ten bucks it is. Here  is my ten bucks right on the soft-board.It stays there only till one month – I will collect this back on 30th April and you will lose your house, your job, your life and of course the ten bucks – deal?’

‘It’s a deal’ Rajinder said.

Producer Ramanathan smirked ‘Let the games begin.’

‘Rohini come in’ Rajinder gestured standing at the door. 

‘You are going to be the next superstar of playback singing - I got you your deal - a chance to sing in Ramanathan's next movie' he said looking deeply into her eyes.

‘I know’ she said. 

‘What is it that you, want?’ Rajinder asked. 

‘I couldve said you heart, but its Money that I really want. Regular money and if you miss a payment, the photographs go to the press.’

The mood in the room had changed.

 ‘Ah so you are going to blackmail me?’he said.

‘Yes if I need to’ she said.

‘Let’s just say I don’t agree to your terms and conditions’ he said. 

‘Why are you bent on getting screwed, no pun intended Rajinder’ she said. 

‘Ah darling its not me, its you who is going to get screwed – I have those negatives with me.’Rajinder said with a hint of a crooked smile.

‘That’s impossible – you can never get to them – show it to me if you really have them?’she said.

‘You can go to the press with your negatives, that is if you can find them again’ he said winking.

‘You are lying you can never have those negatives, ever’ 

‘And why so my dear?’

‘Because they are…’
 

‘Yes…they are..What? Let me tell you my dear – those negatives were picked up from your now ransacked home, and right now they’re on their way here’Rajinder said looking at his watch. 

‘What?’ Rohini exclaimed wide eyed.

Rajinder smiled.

‘Now you will do exactly what I say – take off your clothes.’ 

Rohini stood still for a while and then obeyed instructions. Rajinder didn’t take too long to get into the act and soon he was panting for breath. He expected her to resist a bit, but she did not. Instead,it seemed like she was enjoying. The momentum increased, he rode her well, she moaned and asked for more. 

'Faster,faster,you bastard,do it to me,now faster...'Rohini screamed.

The heartbeats knew no bounds and at a point they choked.Rajinder died of a cardiac arrest in the middle of their torrid love making session.
 

Rohini sat up on the bed breathing heavy and said ‘Rama sir – you can come in now, the job is done – where’s my ten bucks?’

 

 

Gyanban Thoughts - a quirky love story after a long time.The double cross was the key point,and the setting deliberate.

 

Something Fishy

‘Check if the Catla is slimy Robin.’

‘Yuck –why do that?’

‘It tells whether the fish is fresh or not.’

‘Once you fry it – how does that matter?’

‘Stop arguing.’

‘Its logic.’

‘Its distasteful.’

‘Well its not cooked yet.’

‘Oh Gaawwd stop it.’

The Octopus and the Squid did not like the noise.They sprang on their face.

Robin and his father choked till they fell down.

The Catla smiled in relief.

Gyanban Thoughts - A fishy thriller,quirky and funny,or so I thought. Plight of fish.

The Rama Cafe

‘What time do we meet?’ 

‘He will be there at 7 AM to greet his blind followers’ 

‘Well its 6AM already – lets get started’.

‘There’s no hurry my friend, we can get there on time, why we can even have a cup of coffee’. 

‘They’d warned me that you are a bit weird…but this weird, I couldn’t have imagined’! 

‘Ah what’s wrong with a hot cup of coffee…before we write history?’ 

Narayan was perspiring at six in the morning, although Delhi wasn’t all that humid in January. ‘You are crazy, you know that right?’ . 

‘Well lets discuss that on our way to the coffee stall’ he said. 

As the two friends walked past the Birla House, they spotted the familiar Café at a distance, but something was odd. It didn’t look like the one they were familiar with and the door was closed. 

‘That’s odd – I ve been here for the last 6 months, it opens by 5 AM’ ‘Its 6:30 – and its still closed – strange.’ 

Narayan went near the door and tried to force it open. But the lock seemed different. He had not seen this before. He gestured to his friend to come and have a look. ‘You have to pull not push Narayan’ the friend said. The door opened. As the two men stood in front, a cold breeze greeted them at the door. 

There was a hint of coffee in the air …they walked in. ‘What is this place? ‘Narayan asked. 

‘Look at the lights on the ceiling, as if they are hidden but still showing and shining so brightly’ 

'I’ve never seen something like this before.' Narayan looked around, the bright orange and beige combination was something he’d never seen before. The couches were of a different material. He touched them and his fingers sank into the soft leather. 

‘Sir what would you like to have today – a mocha or a single shot espresso?’ 

The two friends looked at each other puzzled. ‘What is that?’ 

‘Well sir its a type of coffee ? Have you not been here before?’ 

‘Yes we have, uh no, no actually not this one…or not this type. ‘Narayan said. 

‘Well sir I can help you with that – there are different types of coffee beans, and you can choose the combination you want, black,decaf,or latte with milk or caramel. So which one will it be for you?’

‘How much?’ 

‘How much for which one sir?’ 

‘Just a regular coffee’ Narayan said. 

‘Sir there is nothing called a regular coffee here’. 

'How can you not a have coffee in a coffee stall? Narayan was getting restless.

‘Ok ok, how much is a coffee with milk?’

‘Ah Café latte will cost you about Rs.300 including taxes.’ 

‘What?’ 

‘Yes sir you heard it right’ 

‘That’s what I earn in a year perhaps’ 

‘I am sure you are joking sir, but if you need sometime to decide I am happy to come back to you a bit later’ the steward said retreating back to the counter. 

‘Lets get out of here’ Narayan said. For the first time his friend was speechless and in agreement. The men were puzzled and looked at each other in disbelief. 

‘Wait what time is it? The friend asked the steward. ‘Sir – its 8AM – you can go now’ he said with a mystical smile. ‘We missed it again’ Narayan whispered. It was January 30th, 1948 -Narayan Apte and Nathuram Godse missed their mission for the 6th time.

Gyanban Thoughts - This is pure play fiction where surreality is mixed with reality.The sensory elements such as sight,taste,smell,hear have been fused into the story.This story is by no means disrespectful towards anyone sentiments.This just explores a possibility of what if from a futuristic angle. 

The Mahatma was killed on the 6th attempt, the previous 5 attempts had been unsuccesful.It was this fact that triggered the story.

Timeliner

Land Ahoy!’ young Wayne Roswald exclaimed.

‘How is that possible?’ Aileen McCarthy retorted.

‘Yes I see it too but it looks so different?’

‘What re those tall structures?’

‘I don’t know I don’t have a precedence to refer.’

‘Should we stop?’

‘I don’t think so?’

‘Where are the others?’

‘I don’t know – they must be coming behind’

‘What a night it was, isn't it?’

‘Yea, I didn’t notice the iceberg at all.’

‘Oh so you saw it?’

‘Yes maam right in front of my eyes.She ran into it like a charging bull.’

‘And then?’

‘Well, after that I…I’

‘Well go on – why did you stop?’

‘Uh um I don’t seem to remember.’

‘What do you mean you don’t remember – we hit the iceberg didn’t we?

‘You were there too –‘

‘Yes I was, but on the lower deck – so didn’t see it coming – just heard a loud noise and that was it.’ Aileen said lowering her eyes.

‘What happened after that?’ Wayne pushed.

‘We ran out of the lower deck and then…’

‘And then what?’

‘That’s odd- I too don’t remember what happened next?

Just then…

‘Look there is a strange looking boat coming right ahead.They seem to be saying something…’ Wayne said.

‘Captain – I see a man and a woman on a boat – they refuse to identify themselves’, seaman Ron Mitchell shouted.

‘Are you kidding me? Must be a rocking honeymoon on a boat in the middle of Atlantic!’ Captain Cork giggled.

‘This is the US coast guard patrol service, identify yourself’ the loudspeaker blurted.

‘Wayne Roswald and Aileen McCarthy on board sir.’

‘Which port are you coming from?’

‘Southhampton sir’.

‘You traveled two hundred and fifty nautical miles on that boat?

‘No just the last few miles – our ship hit the iceberg sir’.

‘Well the last time something hit an iceberg was a hundred years ago’.

Wayne and Aileen shivered, as they saw the date on a wet torn newspaper lying on the floor of their boat –April 10,1912.













Gyanban Thoughts - this fiction is dedicated to the centenary of the Titanic voyage.April12,2012 is when the unsinkable sank.So many lives,so many stories, so many hopes and so many prayers drowned that cold night.I guess God was busy saving someone else that night.This story is laced with optimism albeit in another timeline. Somewhere the Manhattan experiment crossed my mind while creating this fictoreal story.The story travels back and forth in different time lines.Who knows someday we just might see the the Titanic that made it to New York.


This also happens to be my 200th post.

Accidental Freedom

The rust in the windowpane,

The walk down a lonely lane,

The flickering light

The fighting night.

The sound of raindrops

The windows hiding gasps

The blowing wind chill,

The sepia picture still.

The touching walls,

The suffering thralls,

The empty cup chokes

The blithe spirit floats

The fleeting clock dances

The seconds without a chance

The red seeping veins

The crash of sleeping trains.

Gyanban Thoughts – These few lines are about how we often get freedom with pain. Life is perhaps the greatest oxymoron itself. We often look to find solace and peace in situations we can or could control, ironically however, some people find peace in situations beyond their control, or at least that’s how we would like to remember them. These few lines are dedicated to all those people who lost someone, and wish they are happy now…wherever they are…maybe.?

Written for onesingleimpression.

Image courtesy:desktopnexus

Angel

Another sun in the sky below

Not for the birds flying low

Ground beneath feels so high

Elation smiles with a wry

Lost in the people world,

Slowly I forget why?

GyanBan thoughts - these few lines are for OSI prompt Angel. 

Alien Thoughts

However it also makes me wonder why dont
the aliens show up once and for all ? Remove all doubt. What's stopping them ?
Assuming that they are such an advanced
technology,they shouldn't be worried by the poor earthlings attacking them,if that's their reason for not going "public"!Think about it .

Which is why I sometimes think that these are our next gen technologies developed internally and kept deliberately away from public so as to not create a panic situation.This information will be given to us in a staggered manner over the years. Besides there could be a commercial angle to it as well.

Maybe some of these technologies will be available in the market to buy and sell..hence perfecting it before hitting the market might seem a good idea.

It still doesn't discount the fact that this knowledge is certainly a combination of human intelligence and external superior intelligence.
Someone's creativity can only go that far - but to achieve this delta X effect,
one would need some knowledge from something out there.

A flying disc,say in 1947 will seem more plausible, unbelievable,tilting towards paranormal phenomena, than say 2007.
isn't it ?Discovery channel once showed an episode on experimental avionics.
Where saucer shaped, vertical rise air craft were being tested,dated back in late 60's.

In summary -

these space ships,flying saucers etc. are actually internal scientific experiments with the aid of alien advanced technology knowledge or awareness.

Mathematically, we cannot be alone in the universe.
I would imagine -one day everyone will be able to see them collectively -
almost as if at the same time.At the end of science there's God !

This "view" will then be debated as God vs Science...