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Wind Beneath My Wings - V

Read part I
Read part II
Read part III

Read Part IV

The boy’s story goes back a long way. He fell in love with her ever since he saw her  standing quietly at a funeral four years ago. Odd place to fall in love you might think, but believe me, when love happens it does not look at time, age distance or location. It just sucks you inside this massive whirlpool.

He lived in a world that had everything. Best wine, women, luxuries, opulence and led a fantastic life, or so he thought at the time. People appreciated his intelligence and sharpness. He was well built, did his job so well that his adversaries feared his presence. And on the other hand he had a loving father and some good friends. People loved his father and respected his opinion so much, that it surprised him sometimes on the blind faith they had in him.

Though most loved him out of fear for who he was – such an oxymoron isn’t it? How can fear and love co-exist? He always questioned it – and landed in some argument or the other. Father being gentle, never stretched an argument, which does not imply that he agreed, in fact he would make simple comments which bothered him no end, something like  “son – you will realize it one day when you are in love and will know the fear of losing your love”. But he dismissed it off. He was Mr.Practical.Mr.Priority. Love for him was perhaps an overrated wasted indulgence which he could have at any time anywhere if he really wanted it.

His destiny had a slightly different take on that though and realization came sooner than he had anticipated.

One day, as he was on his way back home from work ,he saw Rosalyn. He did fall in love…with Rosalyn against all his logical belief system. As days passed by, he grew restless with this contradiction of his heart and mind. It took his sleep away. And ever since then he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He even forgot his close friends and only thought about her.
Being so vulnerable was new to him, and he felt quite nervous, and more so being illogical was not his forte. So why did he fall in love? Why her? He liked to keep his life black and white.

This dilemma began taking a toll on his work and everyday life. He lost interest in everything he did so well till now. His inconsistency at work affected the immediate world around him and the  people connected to it.

Seeing his son in pain, his father decided to pay him a visit. He walked into his house and said ‘Son – I see you are suffering – what do you want  - is there anything I can help you with? You do realise that I’d help you in any way I can right?’.

When the mind is occupied, simple things become complicated.
He got irritated at his fathers remark, because he thought that his father was aware of the state of his mind or rather his heart so why taunt him? He wondered if his father wanted him to bow down before him and seek help just like millions did everyday. After all this was yet another victory of his philosophies.

Somehow he managed to not retort but he ignored him.

His father waited for sometime and then went back , leaving him to make his own choices and realize things, as he had always done before. He had never forced anything on to him beyond a point. He had taught him to take his own decisions, and also bear the consequences – which he sure did.

Not to say he made all the right choices in the past, but the stubborn lad he was, he stood by all of them. He never regretted any of his decisions, one of which was leaving his fathers house at an early age. Father had supported his decision even then.

Soon days passed into months but the restlessness inside him kept on building. And then one day something happened to his sense of rationale – it probably had snapped. He had matured and shades of grey had crept into his black and white life. As he tossed and turned in his bed feeling restless something inside him screamed for some action.

It had come to a point of no return for him – he had to do this and get it out of his system else his mind would probably explode. Finally, he decided to get up and do something about his misery, his dilemma. And yet again a radical decision awaited his judgment. Just like he had done many years ago. That very moment, he left everything behind, quit his job, left his friends and family and decided to pursue his love and win her over. Before leaving he went to his father’s house.

‘Welcome son’ – his calm baritone was always a little unnerving, but he never showed his nervousness.

‘Why aren’t you ever surprised father?’ he queried like an annoyed child.

Father just smiled and gestured him to speak his mind.

‘Father, I have decided’  -he started to speak hastily, and then stopped.

‘ That you have to go’ .Father completed the sentence.


‘You do know the consequences – right?’ His father was now looking and talking to him without any inflection in pitch or deflection on his facial muscles.

He was already tensed and now, he became impatient and irritable.

‘Wait a minute I don’t understand this – when I never believed in love you taunted me ,and said some day I would learn my lesson, that some day – is today father, today is that day. Now that I have learnt my lesson, you say there will be consequences? Why?’ He ranted.
There was  so much pent up emotion building up inside me – ready to explode, tears perhaps.

A first glimpse of the hazards of falling in love.

His father was calm as ever, and said –

‘I have never taunted you my child – your tonality of interpreting my compassion does not make it sarcastic you know. Look at the bright spots – we all learn some day, and your day has come today, but learning also brings in awareness and responsibility.’

‘Love brings responsibility of your thoughts translated into action. You have to own your decision and know that you cannot back away from it. There are no trials in true love. It’s a one-way street.’

He nodded in agreement.

‘Besides someone has to do your job – have you found a replacement yet?’ his father’s practicality took him by surprise. He spoke just like he would have. I mean why wouldn’t he?
He was after all his father. But they were so different, or so he’d thought all along.

‘Uh – yes father I have a replacement in place to continue the business as usual.’ He replied quietly.

‘You do know the gravity of the situation you are going to be in right? None of my resources would be accessible to you, you are pretty much on your own’ his baritone interrupted his thoughts again.

‘Y-yes sir’ he mumbled.

‘Well then its done then. Come here, and give me a hug’.

They embraced each other after so many years, he felt wonderful, as if he was waiting for this one hug from him all his adult life. Yet, ironically, it was because of his beliefs that he’d never cared for his hugs in the past.

Something in him knew it was perhaps the last time he would hug him in long while.

Gyanban Thoughts - The story races ahead in part VI - What's in store for Gerald and Rosalyn ? What is their destiny?


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It's 5AM and the clock is late,
the rush to dress up and change my fate,
but the wrinkle is annoying the mane,
and the greys are flaying the vein,
I carry the mirror in mind,
leave the resigned sigh behind.

The train is packed with eyes,
I stand under the strain of lights
the dark skin is brighter,
maybe they'll like me better,
their shampoos leave no clue,
only the fan comes to my rescue.

Waiting for the elevator,
a minty breath drifts over the shoulder,
the noose around my neck chokes
gasps for breath and the heart pokes
the lights are incandescent inside
empty faces on the outside.

The tube-light and the guard flickers
People wearing strange monikers
floating close to the floor
a door opens, the stupor
he sashays along leaving them behind,
my eyes lose him and hope to find.

Clocks go by and the hours shiver
the cardigan shrugs off and the  lips quiver
a sudden surge of reason, cold air ,
aimlessly slides off my ruffled hair
witness  to the porcelain teapot stare,
bits an…