Skip to main content

The Fan Magazine

He ran his fingers through her hair,felt her lips and caressed her nape. His eyes remained focused for the rest of the flight.

It was 6 years since he had fallen in love with her.Everyday,every minute,every second of his existence belonged to her.

Finally that day had come,when he was going to meet her.See her,in person.It was surreal.

He had goose bumps the minute his flight landed in Mumbai International airport.

After clearing customs, he walked to the taxi stand and asked 'Can you take me her residence?'
The cabbie laughed looking at the picture in the magazine and gestured him to hop in.

'You do look familiar - have I seen you somewhere?' the cabbie asked.

'No, not really, I don't frequent Mumbai much' he retorted.

Forty-five minutes down the road,the cab stopped ' this is where you need to get down sir' the cabbie said looking into his rear view mirror.

'But this is not her house' he said.

'I know - but this is where the search begins' the cabbie smirked.

'No no,you don't understand,I don't need to search her - I know where she stays - so please take me there.'he said.

'And why would she meet you?' the cabbie asked.

'What do you mean why- I've known her even before she came here'


'So , so that means she will meet me' he said emphatically.

'I mean when did you last meet her?'the cabbie asked.

'Oh - just last Tuesday, we met in a restaurant in New York, had  dinner together.'

'New york eh?'

He nodded.

After a brief pause the cabbie said 'you do know that you are crazy right?'

'Excuse me?'he said narrowing his eyebrows.

'Sulekha Khan is dead since 2001' the cabbie said.

'B-but how can that be, I just …' he trailed off.

'She died on that flight on September 11 - it was in the news - Film-star  Sulekha Khan 's tragic death' the cabbie said.

'Oh but this is impossible - oh what am I going to do now?' he said.

'Well, if you want I can drop you back to the airport' the cabbie offered.

'Err no I will get down here - if this is where I need to begin searching then so be it'

'Hello Mr. this is a cemetery - there is her grave here - that's it' the cabbie said.

'Exactly this is where I need to begin'  he said looking into the rear view mirror.

'You really are crazy - anyway, just pay me fare and do whatever you like.' the cabbie said turning around.

The man had gone.

There was no passenger in the cab…just an old magazine with Sulekha Khan on the cover.

Gyanban Thoughts : If stars go to the stars then why should the poor fan be left behind?


Popular posts from this blog


‘I need some rest, else I’ll be late for school.’ she said blurring.
‘The doctors are on their way’ he said. She stood motionless, staring blankly at the cameras, Volcanic debris had trapped her legs.Hidden below the ground, gangrene ate into her calves, as she faded.13 year old Omayra’s death was captured live.

Gyanban Thoughts - Nevado Del Ruiz volcano erupted on November 13,1985 which killed nearly 25,000 people in Armero, Columbia. Omayra could have escaped, but stopped to save her sibling from the oncoming volcanic lava. Her legs got trapped in the deris of her own home.When rescue teams arrived they realized that she could not be extracted without amputating her legs. She died with gangrene and hypothermia.She began hallucinating in her last moments. World news covered this they say saw Omayra die a slow painful death.For 3 days her pain and agony was captured by television crews but one photograph went on to capture the imagination of the world. Frank Fournier captu…


Hunger and shelter kill people.

Finding a place in the prime Borough is like finding a diamond in a coal mine. Mum used to say, learn to adjust, and you will find what you want. After all, these little adjustments, are a part of the fucking parcel of life. Huh. 

It would be exactly nine months on the first of April since I moved into the plush Toccata penthouse. It had soft caramel undertones on the walls and the Renoir’s, one on each side, caught my gaze on the first day. Instinctively, I knew, it was the house I wanted. As the landlady walked ahead of me, notes of coffee, pink pepper, cedar, and cinnamon oozed from her swaying hips, sucking me into a deep hallucinogenic state. Fuck me. 

I couldn’t bungle this one up, unlike the previous eight houses. Terrible, they were. “No late-night partying or substances, pills, injections, powders, got it?” She said breaking my gaze. Yes, she had the vocabulary. I am the shy type, so I lowered my head and nodded gently but my head was still spinni…


It's 5AM and the clock is late,
the rush to dress up and change my fate,
but the wrinkle is annoying the mane,
and the greys are flaying the vein,
I carry the mirror in mind,
leave the resigned sigh behind.

The train is packed with eyes,
I stand under the strain of lights
the dark skin is brighter,
maybe they'll like me better,
their shampoos leave no clue,
only the fan comes to my rescue.

Waiting for the elevator,
a minty breath drifts over the shoulder,
the noose around my neck chokes
gasps for breath and the heart pokes
the lights are incandescent inside
empty faces on the outside.

The tube-light and the guard flickers
People wearing strange monikers
floating close to the floor
a door opens, the stupor
he sashays along leaving them behind,
my eyes lose him and hope to find.

Clocks go by and the hours shiver
the cardigan shrugs off and the  lips quiver
a sudden surge of reason, cold air ,
aimlessly slides off my ruffled hair
witness  to the porcelain teapot stare,
bits an…