November 13, 2011

Tailor - New Stiches


‘What is it you want for your birthday my love? He asked.

She kept quiet,partly because she couldn’t breathe.

‘Don’t be afraid, tell me dear?’ He implored.

‘I want a sewing kit,I ‘d like to knit a sweater’ she whispered.

‘Ah is that it?.

He let go off her throat,and Chloe collapsed on the bed.



But I liked her fingers.Tender ,long,soft and caring.

Chloe was the perfect housewife.I loved her.

She cooked well,knit well and stiched well.

She kept me safe near her bed at all times.

But one day I realised she was using me.

Instead of cloth my blades were dipped in flesh.

Tender fingers can mislead you sometimes.










Gyanban Thoughts - this fiction short story is narrated in two different angles.One from the point of view of the wife and the other from the point of view of the scissor.I tried to keep both the versions to 55 words or thereabouts which was difficult.I keep trying to challenge myself to use usual ,everyday scenarios to write something plausible yet present it with a different angle.I hope the readers enjoyed this one.

Tailor

8 comments:

  1. I really liked the idea. Very cool with the perspectives!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmmmm!! Could have been better.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i can see a space for the third perspective too. The husband's or the situation in the middle

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why did she have to die when he simply could have left her?

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Falling Universe - Thank you for your kind words.

    @Sudeshna - will try my best.

    @MM - interesting.

    @Purba - maybe she was trapped.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Maybe the flesh was of her husband n not Chloe.... Hhmmm.... I liked this post.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nice ... and with a twist too. Frankly, if you hadn't explained, I may not have understood it well enough :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Now that is intense and a rather odd twist :) Very well written...

    ReplyDelete

Say it only if you mean it -

Sands of time

The scorching sun follows me Hot dunes burn my feet I know you are waiting for me As I leave the last oasis. A grain of sand tears my skin T...