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Taint


She looked out of her 30th floor window and took a deep breath.

The dawn was quite cloudy; she turned to look at her customer lying in a pool of blood.

‘I thought 20 years was enough to forgive him’.

‘But I guess not’.

30-year-old Kamala, finally managed to kill her first provider and perpetrator.








Gyanban Thoughts -  writing a 55 word fiction is quite a challenging task in itself,but what makes it more difficult is to capture emotions and pain with minimal usage of words. In this fiction, Kamala is a prostitute and comes across the man who forced  her into this predicament when she was just 10 years old.The use of the words "first provider" could also mean a family member,among other hidden meanings,but I leave it to the readers imagination. The title Taint has multiple layers and is applicable to the story literally and figuratively.

Comments

  1. It must be quite a task! But without the background that you have given at the bottom it may not be possible to understand.

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  2. Incorporating everything in mere 55 words is a challenge, no doubt. But you did great. Well written.

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  3. @Hariharan - welcome to Gyanban. My posts are always like this,so am not surprised.

    @Enigmatic Soul - Welcome to Gyanban - thanks for appreciating.Would invite you to read some more if you get the time or inclination.

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  4. Good one...You can't forgive someone who killed your soul...

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  5. very intresting post....it leaves u wondering wanting to know more and more about kamala..very well written

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  6. I like your recent form of writing here "55 word fictional story", very intriguing. This makes me think of haiku in the sense of restrictions, but when you know the process the ability to create goes in infinite directions. Your story is left with and without much.

    It seems like it is hard to get used to what to leave out and what to leave in. I think that I would almost fight myself for words, in that i wouldn't know what I would include and leave out just so the reader gets the information, as well as just enough so the author doesn't seem like they push it either.

    So In that respect I can see that it is difficult, so congrats for you in accepting this difficult terrain.

    Right on.

    P.s. I do like the other 55 works that you have hear as well, nicely done.

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  7. @Saru - thanks, forgiving someone takes a lot of mind control and it is part of evolution,so it does take time, but it is not impossible.

    @Alka - thank you. It is part of the design to keep Kamala's story to the readers imagination.

    @Falling Universe - Thank you for your observations. The ideal 55 fction is where the twist is at the very end and it acts like falling dominos connecting one thought to another.Almost all micro-fiction stories are like a synopsis or a teaser which just keeps hooked to know more...more like leading your thoughts into the unknown without necessarily drawing a conclusion.

    Therefore getting the right balance is most critical,how much to leave vs. how much to keep.So I am going through a learning process,some turn out ok - but there is along way to go before I find the the right words to express and create the perfect micro-fiction.

    Thank you for dropping by and appreciating the work.
    Cheers
    GB

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  8. I like what you say about it being like dominoes, it defiantly puts the picture in my head, and leading one into the unknown without a conclusion makes me chuckle because I think we live like that every day.

    I look forward to see more, and well I might try something of the sort it sounds intriguing.

    Right on Gyanban!

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  9. Concise and conveyed excellently.

    ReplyDelete

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