Exchange

I'd walk with you to the gallows
in sunshine or rain,
If you could exchange your sorrows
for love and rid pain.

I'd walk with you to the cliff
braving storms and waves,
If you could exchange your past
and rewrite it again.


I'd walk with you through fire,
or on burning coal and nails
If you could exchange your scars
and paint your life again.

I'd walk with you to die,
just to add one more moment,
If you could exchange your death,
and live once again....

Gyanban Thoughts : This new year,I start by dedicating a few lines to those departed,those broken hearts and endless tears of lost lives and relentless pain.If we could just turn back time once and save so many lives....#Peshawar,#Malysia airlines,Air Asia,Terror attacks and many more.... 

Missing - Episode 18

Tete-A-Ten

Episode -17

Ballard Estate - 
Mumbai.

Sometimes I wish I was that child running in the garden with freedom, without any worries, because  I know now, bruised elbows are easier to heal than broken hearts.

Dr.Sneha remembered the scribbled lines on canteen table. The wood and wrought iron bench in the far corner, the hot cup of masala tea, lasting cinnamon fragrance in the air and those long conversations about life and death. The stolen glances, the fleck of ketchup on his pristine white shirt, Dr.Sneha replayed the most vivid moments in her mind.

"Doctor Phadnis - are you alright?" Tara asked craning her neck.

"Uh-Yes - yes, everything is fine, please continue" Sneha replied.

"I was just saying that Dr.Ahuja has been a great support to our family, he is a compassionate man and understands Roohi's complications so well. We are truly grateful." Tara said waving Roohi's hair.

"How did you find him?" Sneha asked.

"Come to think of it, he was like a divine intervention, a stroke of luck, out of the violet, that's how co incidental it was. Roohi was unwell yet again, had to rush back to Mumbai leaving a conference midway, Missed  a connecting flight, argued with staff, got a horrible co passenger, moved to someone else's seat and, and then I  met Aryan" said Tara while Sneha checked Roohi for any bruises .

"Roohi is fine, she's not hurt, in any way " Sneha emphasized looking at Shekhar.

"Oh thank goodness. Thank you , thank you so much, this is the best piece of news I've heard in what seems like a really long time. And I'm sorry, I was just too worked up" Shekhar said looking at Cyrus.

"Come here Cyrus, its OK, everything will be just fine, let me have a look" Sneha said while walking across towards Cyrus. He took a few steps back spontaneously, but stopped after a few paces as he saw Dr.Sneha walking towards him.

Shekhar walked towards Tara and Roohi while Sub Inspector Bhambore scratched his right eyebrow.

"Erm so ,now where are we with the case madam ? Do I  -" Bhambore asked looking at Dr.Sneha Phadnis.

"Inspector, Cyrus is studying in a law school, he is going to be a lawyer soon. He hails from a  good family, and I know his parents quite well. However, life has not been kind to him. 

In fact he is the one who should be complaining. He is the one who should speak. Haven't I told you Cyrus not to be the victim, be the victor, haven't I taught you to get up and fight  - where is that brave soldier, that brilliant lawyer gone ? Get up Cyrus, get up."  Sneha spoke as the only other noise came from passing  vehicles honking unnecessarily.

"He is harmless, he has been hurt, yet he would never hurt anyone else" Sneha concluded after a pause.

"So madam should I..?" SI Bhambore did not complete his question as looked at Tara.

"No inspector saheb  its not required, we are not pressing any charges" Shekhar said while looking at Cyrus.

"Uh-oh yes, I mean what was all the chaos about,eh?  You had raised hell on the kidnap issue just a few hours back" Bhambore attempted to raise the issue one more time.

Roohi managed to free herself from her fathers embrace and ran towards Cyrus.

Sub Inspector Bhambore realized the futility of his question shaking his head.

Tara extended her arms and said "Come on sweety, it’s a long way home, lets get going".

"I don't want to leave Cyrus alone, he's lost, we need to take him home too" Roohi cried out loud.

Fanus wiped the solitary tear rolling down his cheeks and looked at Cyrus with a hint of a smile.Shekhar pulled Roohi out of Cyrus's embrace and started to walk towards his car parked a few meters away. 

"Take care" said Tara while walking out of the warehouse. Cyrus and Fanus hugged each other as tears trickled down their eyes.

"OK,I think I will go as well, will have to make some report out of all this" said Bhambore following Tara's footsteps.

"Fanus - I think he needs rest, he needs to relax. Can you take Cyrus to the hotel? Also, please follow up on the return tickets. I need to excuse myself for a little while" said Dr.Phadnis.

"But where are you going, aren't we going back together?" Fanus asked raising his eyebrows.

"Don't worry ,I won't be long, its just that I need some time of my own - will be in touch on mobile" she said and walked out.

"Fanus, I'm not going back" Cyrus said looking down.

The two looked at each other without speaking any further. The  silent look was witness to a melee of emotions. The years of being together, the bullies and the bruises, the pleasure and pain , the chiding and the hiding , the losing and the finding, all summed up at that moment in time.

"We can face it together Cyrus, you are not alone, we will build a new life, our life, on our terms and conditions"

"My life is over in Delhi Fanus,I will make my life , a new life , on my terms in Mumbai" .

"Uff that’s all you know - I ,I,I, and more I - whatever happened to we Cyrus? Where are we in this new life? Where did you think about me ? Or does it not matter to you anymore?"

"Fanus its I,I,I and only I who was raped not you, it was I who lies here bruised and battered, not you, it  is I who is shattered Fanus. You were not pinned down by two hands in the back of a building. Your body was not humiliated, penetrated, ruptured and left to bleed. Your soul was not  hurt. You did not walk half naked to the nearest hospital. Your eyes did not see those snigger's, your ears did not hear those whispers, your hands did not shake uncontrollably. Yes Fanus, you guessed it right. It was me."

"It was not my fault that I didn't know" Fanus knelt down.

"I'm not leaving, Fanus-  its decided."

"I am leaving Cyrus - I'm going back to Delhi - I am going to complete my studies and face the world. Not hide here , I am not a coward, I am going to go out there and face the world - I don't believe in breaking, I believe in making. Besides,I am not leaving college,I am going to back and stick it out.What are you going to do about your law school? Abandon it ?" Fanus asked raising his voice.

"Law is not for me, I will make movies" he said.

"Make movies? You are out of your mind,you have no background, no godfather, no connections -who is going to let you make movies ?"

"That's not the point Fanus, let's see who stop me from making movies".

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• “Me and my team are participating in ‘Game Of Blogs’ at BlogAdda.com. #CelebrateBlogging with us.”

Read Episode -19

Return Gift

Brian Paul called and said‘Happy birthday bro’
‘Who’s this?’ asked a startled Aaron Barnes.

It was six years since the two school friends had last spoken. But their acquaintance withstood the test of time.They had been to school together for many years, but then came that fateful day when both of them failed to get pass the higher secondary exams.

Fate took them to different parts of the world and more importantly in to different paths.

Life changed their fates from that point on.Aaron went on to become a top executive in a large multi national company and Brian struggled to make two ends meet in a shipping yard doing MIS reports.

Corporate life made Aaron a sharp thinker,a shrewd calculator and a strong personality.Hard life and struggle made Brian a carefree, ego less, hassle free guy.Over time their vocabularies had changed accordingly.While time saved mattered to one,time spent mattered to the other.

In spite of their different paths, fates, and demeanor's they managed to keep the connection over the years. Brian would call mostly and Aaron would usually be busy and would return the call at a later time.Brian never minded that and Aaron liked that he could be free with his childhood buddy.There was no pressure to be politically correct with him.

However,in the last few  years there was no call from Brian and Aaron had never noticed it either until today, when Brian called to wish him for his birthday.

‘Thanks buddy long time no see no hear,how goes?’asked Aaron Barnes.

‘Goes well mate,no job,no salary and a family of 5 to run,can’t complain’he chuckled.

‘Oh sorry to hear that’ said Aaron.

His corporate mind took over, anticipating Brian’s next move.He decided to preempt it and address the elephant in the room.

‘Oh so you must be in need of money’ he said.

‘Oh totally – I do’ said Brian.

Aaron silently felt good about his analytical abilities but decided not to show it.

‘Send me your bank account’

‘Ah –that won’t be necessary buddy’ said Brian.

‘What? I mean , I don’t understand’ said Aaron.

Aaron raised his eyebrows in surprise and couldn’t muster up a further response.

Brian continued ‘I mean yes I do need to earn more money, but I am ok, working on some projects,some stock market play and it should work out soon  so I should be good, besides my wife runs a small boutique in the neighborhood, so she chips in for the daughters school fees, so we re still floating.’

‘Send me your bank account’ Aaron stressed.

‘Aaron – chill. If I take money from you, it will become excess and then I will get used to it and who knows I won’t be able to repay you back – so won’t take it from you, at least not just as yet.You see,If you give me fish to eat I will get used to it ,I need to learn to fish’ Brian concluded.

‘Ok as you wish – I respect your views – call me if you need anything’ said Aaron.

Brian smiled and said‘Sure I will – but today I just called to wish you a happy birthday’.

‘Thanks buddy – appreciate it’said Aaron and they hung up.

Aaron immediately called Vanessa,Brian’s wife and managed to get hold of the bank account number and IFSC code for a bank transfer. He transferred money into Brian’s account right after that.Aaron felt good after a long time. It was something he had done for a friend without any expectations.

When Brian got to see his bank account a few days later,he realised what Aaron had done.He decided to call him back and return the money.

‘Hello can I speak to Aaron Barnes please?’

‘I’m sorry who is this?’asked the receptionist.

‘Ah I’m his friend Brian Paul’

‘O Mr. Paul I am afraid Mr.Aaron Barnes is no longer with the company’.

‘What? But I spoke with him last week?’

‘The call must’ve gone to his personal mobile sir – we usually allow a small grace period for the mobile service to remain open till all his accounts and contacts are aware and or his papers are closed as the case may be’ she said.

‘Oh this is terrible – how long back did he move out?’

‘Sir,Its been about two months,it was rather unfortunate that his department shut down and he had to move on’ she whispered.

Brian could barely speak‘Oh’ he said lowering his voice.

‘Would you like to pass on a message in case he calls? asked the receptionist.

‘Y-yes just let him know I wanted to return the return gift he gave me on his birthday’.

Gyanban Thoughts : Often friendships develop over time, through unspoken words,uncommon circumstances,and different paths.Sometimes we get too caught up with what we know about people,until someone comes along and makes us revisit our belief system.This short story is dedicated to all best friends out there.

Judgement Day

Morning never shows the day.The surrounding was rather oblivious to the naked eye.A broken window,a network of cobwebs a few friendly spiders and some termites for company.There I stood in one corner,untouched,uncared for long.

My bones are no longer as strong as they used to be but I am still holding on,still standing out in a crowd, or so I’d like to believe.I want to talk but have no one to listen,I have a heart burning with desire but no one to love it.I am old but invaluable.

Just as I thought of this moment as the end of the world, there was a noise, someone was breaking in.I wanted to shout, scream alert everyone,but too frail to execute the idea.Its been so long since anyone ever visited me or felt me or even thought about me.

But today was different. The gloomy dark days of solitude were being explore again – but who dare do that? Why? Why now after all these years? As I stood there scared and pondering about the noise behind the door, it opened with the click of the key.

As the cabinet door opened I saw someone I had not seen for a long time ~ I saw the sinner man and the moment he saw me he uttered “Its time I read the Bible”

Truly,morning never shows the day.

Gyanban Thoughts - This is an experimental piece.The cue  was about a tattered old book and the focus was on the narration from the point of view of the book.The tittle was ironical and apt.

Vital Signs

Street lights blink,

Life walks by silently,still

Hurt speeds by the curve,

Unknown fate meets the violent blood,

Stolen screams of the muted eyes

Reminiscent  breaths of a fleeting soul,

Yet a joyous birth tears away,

and yet again love awaits

at the crossroads,

Looking for the vital signs.








Gyanban thoughts - Life is about moving,even after we die isnt't it ? Love is unending , untiring in spite of the most savage attacks that death has to offer.Hope keeps us alive as love replenishes it time and again.This world needs love,a lot of love,and peace will come if our hearts make space for hope.Believe it to see it.This poem is for all those people who have lost their good friend "hope" somewhere behind in life and miss the vital signs of love.

written for OSI

image courtesy: here