Life book

I think we should all maintain a life book.
It should be a list of things that we want to remember and learn from.The people who have affected our lives,or changed our thought process.The good things that have happened to us each year of our existence.The bad things as well...so when we sum it all up in the end or even periodically,we know how we stand in life.No bull shit.

the reason this thought came to my mind was because I figured we are always wanting...ok cribbing ! Our systems environment [for lack of a better expression] is so designed that we are driven into this want cycle.Not having this want makes us feel bad.Chasing this want is the sole obsession of this world.how about not want for a change? How many times have we curbed our thoughts with I don't want this ?

It also seems to me that people are attached to each other because of wants.There's some need quotient or need index every one has..and is attracted or repulsed in accordance to the availability of it.How many people do we know in our society today who are wanted even if there NI is low ?Or how many people with a low NI have many people around them ?It s usually nature that they re left with !


We need to exit this want cycle somehow.There's got to be some kind of mechanism to work around this...not get distracted temporarily but to detach permanently? The NI is so high...that right at this very moment my mind is revolting..saying naah...this is for the folks who ve probably lost it...the impatient mind says dont wory you can have this no want status after you ve got everything.So keep at it till then.

Some of my thoguhts say how many have the courage or opportunity to do this ..or think like this when the immediate need of the hour is to say save your life or feed your child or else...for them all of this flies out of the window...philosophy is best left to airconditioned offices or study rooms for them.Page3 philosophy.
So not having a philosophy is a wise idea? I dont think so.No matter what our want index scores, there s some element which whispers or screams as the case maybe,about our state of mind,body and actions.

Make a difference to someone somewhere positively...positively somewhere someone will make a differnece for you.

Dream Chronicles Vol 3

Had a couple specific dreams again over the last few days.

It s about noon, with some clouds - there are two buildings about 5 or 6 floors each ,facing each other, the design is like a semi circle , the visual is like a green film on a camera, light green to dark as we look inside,somewhere inside there is a ball of light,there are two sets of people,in either building or structure, each trying to communicate something incoherent, i am watching them stare at each other with anger but no words come out...

i have a feeling that the solution to their situation lies within me or with me or else why would I need to be there at that location ? also somewhere i got a feeling that is scene is happening ahead of our times somewhere in the future...

Analysis - Well - i haven't seen any futuristic scifi movies of late, neither have I seen any such remarkable buildings other than workplace,nor do I hold a key to any significant problem.! in my conscious life.
I have no clue why I have these dreams.Especially when I am totally disconnected with the events happening in the dreams....I guess will find out someday...

Dream Chronicles Vol 2

It is a cloudy breezy mid morning,there's a building near the sea shore,it s a cold breeze,seems like a place up north somewhere,I enter the building from a door facing the empty land and trees behind...It s a circular lobby,rather large, with a central pillar and a spiral staircase.i go up to the first first floor, but it feels like a lot more in height than a regular first floor.There are people in the room, cannot see them clearly,but can feel a lot of blurred activity in the background.i can see a window right in front of me, long rectangular wooden window and a strong breeze blowing in from the ocean.i hear some faint noises , i run to the window and look down.someone at the ground level is trying to give me something as a part of the process, felt like as if I am a part of a chain ,except that I wasn't receiving it,and then the man screamed to take it and hurled,what seemed like a book, to me.not being able to catch it I saw the book floating down ,but the man had disappeared . I frantically ran down the spiral stair case and went around the building to look for the man and the book.As I was running i realised the ground beneath had suddenly become soft...seemed like a marshy land or quicksand...I did not get stuck but I stopped and looked up amazed.....

The alarm went off and i got up...! Well I have no clue why I had this dream, pretty vivid, and something which ended rather abruptly...and again I remembered the sequence as against some of my previous few dreams which I have had no recollection whatsoever.

Sometimes I feel we must be a part of a big plan by someone,GOD ? ,Nibiru ? or something totally different, and sometimes I think that none of it is true,life is how it is ...we re born, and we die..we don't go anywhere..it seems pretty logical..anything which has a beginning has to have an end.Sometimes I feel being a part of someone plan may not be a bad thing at all...history is replete with instances where mankind has done exceedingly well when they are a part of a plan, given directions , and given a task at hand..whether for good or bad.

So are we headed somewhere ? I have a hunch...life might become a little more complicated than what it is now.Big deal ? yes, because eventually Religion,Politics and Science are going to divide this world in two distinct halves - believers and non believers.Or there could be a scenario that all of these 3 elements could converge to be one. P-P-T = people process and technology can become one...maybe the God almighty is the perfect combination of these three elements.

The supreme being .God.ultimate scientific breakthrough, all could mean the same thing.there could be only one universal religion,one universal God and one universally accepted fact that it is a creation of science or vice versa !

The skeptical side of me cuts away from this dream world and looks into the granular tactical aspects of life.

Do what you are supposed to do,expected to do,have to do,want to do.I think some intelligent life Nike figured this out pretty quickly...just do it. :-) i'd add..Get on with it.

That's what we have been doing all along isnt it ? just getting along,not stopping to think even once about why are we doing all this..and I can say if one individual thinks like that it is not going to make any difference.There needs to be a mass consciousness or mass awakeness ~for lack of a better word!

Life Opposites

if you had two keys, you always open with the wrong one,

if you are patiently waiting in a queue ,some will always get a cab before you,

if you wanted to sneak past the boss's office door,

he will be waiting for you ahead on the floor,

If you eagerly open your emails for the impending promotion,

Buy your eyes pop out when you see there are escalations,

If you made up your mind to quit,

Boss throws a new carrot stick.

If you fired a guy for wrong doing,

HR comes back to you for being overbearing,

When you don't appreciate your boss' yell,

It's because you don't understand the culture well.

You decide to go have a fat free lunch,

The queue is so long , you land up with a pizza brunch.

The juicer grinder goes bonkers just when its your turn,

You get fed up and eat the Big Mac bun.

The day goes by without hoping much,

when you get the cost cutting crunch,

and then you think your savings will sail,

just then the ticker shows the markets fail.

Life has a fork at every bend and gap,

nobody really has seen the whole map,

so stay on course even if you fall,

someday you will climb over the wall,

the opposites might do the trick,

maybe He will give you the success stick.

Gyanban thoughts - often times when things are difficult..it almost seems like the whole universe is conspiring against you.Everything you do ,say,write - goes against you. Nothing seems to work. That is when the opposite life is at it s best.The longer you hang in there,better the chances to come out trumps,and turn around the opposite to your side.

Happiness

It would be so interesting to know the correct way to lead your life isnt it ?
Career,Finances,Married Life,Kids,Responsibilities and the list is endless.
What I realize now, it 's just not about hunting and pursuing the right thing to do in life alone,it is also about
parallely making tangible efforts to kick start the effort. Otherwise it becomes paralysis by analysis.

I think the biggest fear factor is losing.If we can overcome the fear of losing then life would probably be much easier.
This fear stops us from doing or trying so many different things that life has to offer.
However , on the flip side, if we dont fear losing, we might lose interest in everything,nothing will enchant us, thrill us, scare us, lighten us,is that the life you want ?

So then what is the right path to true happiness.?
I thinking there isn't anything like true happiness. It s a perceived happiness based on the immediate circumstance one is in. our brain sets variable parameters for determining happiness from time to time.And we keep chasing those variables all our lives.

The insecurity that arises of not having the desired variable differs from individual to the other,in varying degrees.It doesn't help either if you have friends and family who don't necessarily understand your predicament.
No fault of theirs either because it s not they who do the evaluation of your life, it s you who lets these things affect your mind.

So in essence there are two ways you could deal with the situation -

1. live in the present,don't think about the future.
2. if you do think about tommorow then do something about it today.


Either of these actions might be a futile excercise if you do not keep the function of time in perspective while executing these activites...

Dream Chronicle 1

I've been toying with this idea for long..it s about "chronicling" the dreams that are best remembered..who knows someday they might begin to make sense ?
In many of my dreams ,I ve seen my self in totally alien surroundings...in someone else's family,watching over a regular every day scene, I can recall alarming details of the people, their outfits,their names,color of the environment,time of the day or night, and funnily enough as much as I know that dreams are symbolic representations of things/events from the past, none of the things that i ve seen in the dreams has ever occured in my life, or is even remotely close symbolicaly to the events in my life so far...

As an example - I would dream of Mr. X ,his family, his house, his environment in complete detail...without ever having been exposed to anyone remotely named or described like that in my life.

So i ve decided to capture as many such dreams as possible from now on...


February 3 ,2009

The scene - A big two storeyed house,sloping red roof ,large rectangle windows.
Feels like country side, some fields, looks like a small town actually.

The time - Late evening before sunset on a cloudy day, the sun is setting behind the house,

The place - somewhere in Africa,probably Nigeria [i have been there in my early childhood,however,the description above is nothing similar to the environment we lived in]

Scene II - I move into the second floor , see a corridor, with rooms on either side, the scene is now in black and white, i peep into one of the rooms to see some people sitting inside and looking at me with a "I-am-not-surprised" look !

Somebody is saying something to me in the background, muffled male voice, cannot make out what is it about ... that's all I can remember as of now...

Such is Life vol 1.

You reach the office with a smile,
which only lasts for a while,
You open your now spamful inbox
you really need to detox,
but ahoy you deleted the bosses email,
now you'll surely hear the verbal trail,

you pray for lunch time to come early,
buy your boss is big and burly,
there's no getting away from that bunch,
he wants to have you for lunch !

Skipping the mail you slouch in your chair,
wallow in your despair,
but there's another ppt to prepare,
getting your mind back to work is a pain,
you hear the thunder clouds,it is going to rain,

The sudden happiness vanishes and you realize
you don't have an umbrella to raise,
so you get back to your ppt
feeling absolutely shitty

It s time for a quick coffee break
and you get a firm handshake,
your biggest rival just got promoted,
they guy your boss always doted,

This is it you think,
but laugh and wink,
ignorance is what you feign,
impulse tells you to resign,

the fellow losers come by,
crib ,bitch and time goes by,
You see the clock - 15 more mins
then It s time to go home - finish !

You rush through the elevator,
but your mobile is a rocking vibrator,
Bosses text reads lets have a quick chat,
your mind races on the last diktat,

You Spend two hours attentively agreeing with the boss,
looking interested,while thinking about Jaws
The plastic smile is now aching your facial muscles
the battering is in cycles,


8PM and you dont want to go home to hear the musical,
there s a new album playing there - suicidal.
The cabbies don't stop,
you ve to take the long walk,


Then it happens,
it leaves you shaken,
you see white light all around
your feet are not on the ground,

it feels sooo good,
You get the feeling of being understood,
there s a sense of calm,
soft hands applying balm

music in the ears, cool wind in the hair,
your eyes are closed
and just while you were getting used to this
you are awoken from your state of bliss,

The car just missed you
just pushed you,
and hit the tree behind you,
that's a stroke of luck for you,
then the branch falls on you..

you are intellectually innocent,
Such is life you vent....